Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
my being single is dangerous.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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