You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
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