The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
