Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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