come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
