Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
