also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Two words: blizzard sex
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
