Define "chronic" masturbator.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
