Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
