he told me I talked like a deaf person
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
