I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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