kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
