They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
