You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
