the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
just come out here and I will go home with you...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
