My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize