are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
