I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
