I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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