the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
i now understand why vodka
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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