We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
