Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
