Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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