I think I am morally bankrupt
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
