I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
