I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm bleeding and have questions
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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