at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
worst night to have a conscience
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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