i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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