They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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