I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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