your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
