I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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