I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
