I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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