We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
