i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
