Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
