physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize