my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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