Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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