Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
