I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm having to shit out rocks
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