The maid of honor just puked.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Randomize
