Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
