is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
