Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Randomize
