ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
