god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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