: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
