were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
