how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Randomize
