New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
my poor anus
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
